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Jacksonville , Florida

My name is Ronnie Hawthorne. I am a born again Christian. I am married with a daughter 10 years old. I am a MBA graduate and department manager in Jacksonville , Florida . I am 41 years old. I am 6’2, 220 lbs and work out 2-3 times a week. I was diagnosed on April 28^th, 2006 with Hairy Cell Leukemia. I had no family history and no exposure to chemicals. I had not missed a day of work except for vacation in 22 years.

This website helped me understand what I would experience; I am posting this to hopefully help others.  

In the 4^th quarter of 2005 through the first quarter of 2006, I began to experience several health problems which I believed were unrelated. Over the last 2 years, I had lost 15 lbs. I associated this to working out and a diet change. In October 2005, I had bleeding gums. The periodontist associated this with a mouth infection and treated me with antibiotics. I developed a food poisoning while on a cruise to the Bahamas ; the nurse on the ship associated it with Flu and again antibiotics. I went to my primary in April 2006 due to bleeding in my stool, which I had never seen before. The primary insisted on blood work and called me to schedule an appointment to share the results.  On April 26^th – My primary notified my I had a vitamin deficiency or leukemia. He immediately called an oncologist, Dr Castillo.

  April 28^th – Dr. Castillo Office – Met with the nurse, the nurse practioner and the Dr.

Dr C. said he was unsure of the disease. The only way to know was to perform a bone marrow sample. Scheduled it for 1:00 the same day. Took a blood sample.

 ·        Came back at 1:00 and did the bone marrow in the office. Pretty painful. Went home and rested. Felt pain all weekend but overall OK. He told me he looked at my blood work and felt it was HCL. He also explained HCL. Only one other case in his career in 13 years. The disease is very rare, 300 cases per year in North America , approx. 600 million.

Yes, I cried when alone with my wife. I prayed a lot. Mostly I was very thankful not to have acute Leukemia. I planned to work through the treatment and not miss a day of work. It was full speed ahead.

May 5^th – Dr. C notified me and my wife, I had HCL. There was no doubt. My WBC, RBC and platelets were approx 40% of a normal count. This clearly explained the health issues over the last 6 months. He wanted another sample to use for teaching due to the rareness of the disease. I notified my family that night at dinner. It was a classic case. My mom was the most upset.

May 16^th – Went into Baptist Hospital for the PIC line for the 2-chlorodeoxyadenosine (2Cda). Felt OK. Missed my first non vacation day of work. Unfortunately, it would not be the last.

May 18^th – Notified my work of my HCL and my desire to fight. I will do my best not to miss much time through chemo. Notified my staff of my disease and my desire for the remission.

May 19^th – 1:00 received my Pump line and the cladrabine.

May 20^th – OK, kind of tired.

May 21^st- OK, tired, seems very hot outside.

May 22^nd – Arrived at work at 6 am. Went for blood work at 7:30. Returned to work until 4:30. Started feeling tired in a Quality Review Meeting in the afternoon. Went home at 4:30. Slept with chills and fever in the afternoon. Called Dr. C and he prescribed Levitron 500 mg for my infection. Notified me my WBC was 600. Took one. Went to bed and woke every hour with fever or pain. Incredible headache all night. Symptoms – fever, fatigue, headaches, constipation, nausea, chills.

May 23^rd- Missed my first day of work not scheduled. Got up at 6:30 and fell back to sleep at 8:30. Woke at 10:00 am. Took the prescription. “I wish the pump would shut up”. Had a pop tart and a chicken sandwich. Felt sluggish all day. Took Motrin, Tylenol and antibiotic.  Symptoms – fever, fatigue, headaches, constipation, nausea.

May 24^th – Felt OK most of the day. I thought I would return to work on Thursday but the doctor called and wants to do a blood transfusion on Thursday. Seems my red blood cell count is lower than desired. This is the reason I am short of breath and weak. I made it to work for 1 hour at 7pm, finalized a couple of things and felt better about work knowing it is stable. I was able to eat a little.  Symptoms – fever, fatigue, headaches, constipation, nausea.

May 25^th – Woke early at 6:30 – Felt weak and tired. Did the blood transfusion at 9:00 and overall it went well. I just laid there and got poked, and two pints of blood. I left the hospital at 2:30 pm. On Thursday night felt more fatigue and fever went to 101.8. Called the doctor. Told me it was normal to increase the Tylenol throughout the evening. Fever broke about 9pm.  Symptoms – fever, fatigue, headaches, constipation, nausea and the chills returned.

May 26^th – I woke feeling very good. Today is the day we remove the pump and the PIC line, Thank You to God!!!! I have focused on this point for 7 days. After the pump removal I felt kind of sick. Took another nap, 2 fever spikes above 102 put me in the bed. Dr.  C said my WBC is very low, be careful. Took over the counter laxatives for constipation.

May 27^th – Slept ok. Ate about 4 bites of cereal and a small piece of chicken for lunch. Took two over the counter laxatives. Still very constipated.  Feel really bad.  I began to develop a fever over 103. I ran a fever for one hour and took two Tylenol. I laid down for 45 minutes. Fever holding above 104. Tried to eat popsicles and ice. No luck. I took two more Tylenol and tried to sleep. No luck. My wife began to beg me to call the Dr. I made her promise I would in one more hour. In one hour, fever still over 104. I was in great pain.  I took two Tylenol to help with no luck. It was at the 6 hour mark with no break in the 104 fever. I was trying to be tough, trying to hard to be a man. I did not realize "the man" had no immune system. I knew it, but I did not KNOW it.  The next point was major turning point. My wife crying said she was going to leave me. She was serious. After 16 years of marriage, that scared me more than the pain. I called the Dr. and he said rush me to the Emergency Room. 

I was very week by the time we reached the hospital. Dr Castillo had called ahead and they took me straight in the back. I was now in great pain and begging the staff to help. I had chills, a fever and vomiting. I was praying the “lord’s prayer” over and over. They immediately gave me an IV and started some pain meds. 

May 28^th - I was admitted. The pain meds began to wear off and the vomiting continued. I went to sleep around 4am with a lot of pain medicine.

10:00 am. I woke feeling very weak and tired. My wife had stayed with me in the hospital all night. She went home in the morning. Around 4pm the pain returned. My WBC was now less than 200 and the Oncologist had called in an Infections Disease Specialist (IDS) to treat the infection. By 5pm I was begging the nurse for pain meds. I can remember holding both hands on the bed rail and telling the nurse “please stop the pain,” over and over. Finally the nurse gave me pain medicine around 6pm and I was out of it.

Later I would understand my colon and bladder had stopped as a result of the infection. The fever I was so stubborn not to call for help with, was the infection. With low immune system, no matter what your prior health or how strong you think you may be, you can die. I never knew pain like those 24 hours.

Over the next 11 days I remained in the cancer floor of Baptist Hospital . After approx 3 days, I began to feel better, slowly getting strength. I began to shower and walk small routes through the hospital all with a mask for germ protection. I prayed daily in my room and in the chapel. MY WBC was still going down. I was receiving meds for the infection and Neupogen to increase my counts. After 2 days, I broke out in a severe rash. My IDS changed my medicine for the infection. My rash was not burdensome but not attractive for the visitors. Visitors were limited to 2 per day and had to scrub upon entry. It was a helpless feeling, I could not work up my counts, exercise them up, all I could do was pray and wait on God. On the ninth day my WBC count rose to over 300. The 10^th day, 600. One your system begins to come back, it is exponential.  The 11^th day I went home.

My counts continued to rise although not in a linear fashion. Some days were higher than the others. Over the next two weeks, my counts rose to the 2000 level. The Neupogen continued as did blood work ever other day.

Over the next 4-6 weeks I remained home from work and slowly increasing. Eventually, I returned to cutting grass, exercising and going to the store and church. You do not realize how much you miss some things until you cannot do them.

In this battle we call life, when faced with a challenge, my method was to pray, develop a plan and charge. It had worked for 22 years; I accomplished all of my degrees while working full time. I have been promoted 7 times in 15 years. Beautiful wife, beautiful daughter, taught Sunday school.  In this case, the charge stopped with an HCL. I charged into the chemo only to have the infection make me lay still and wait on God.  During these 11 days I hit bottom. Interesting, I only wanted the basics of life again, to love and laugh yet they seemed so far away.

It is now July 2007, I have been in remission for over 9 months. I continue the blood work every 3 months. I must thank God first for salvation, my wife who stood by me when I did not deserve her and treated her very poorly, and my family. I also wish to thank Dr. Castillo who shared his own cancer story with me and has touched my heart. The nurses at Baptist Cancer Center were awesome.

If you have been diagnosed, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! You can make it. Your life will change; your priorities will change or be reinforced to life’s basics. Faith in God and Faith in Family. Keep your eyes on the lord and pray every day for strength. You were made in this world for a reason, God does not make mistakes. FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT.

John 3:16